December 26, 2019. 153 days old.
We are officially one month away from being half a year old! Just the other day, I found myself scrolling through some old photos (and when I say old, I mean from September) and wishing I could rewind time, when it was warm and sunny and I was at home with my girl, spending our days on the couch as she napped on me. Or those warm weekend nights, when we’d take a long walk to get ice cream (and feeding breaks) and once we’re back home she would fall asleep on my breast and we’d be able to watch a whole movie, but I would be too distracted and just instead watch her sleep on my lap. Those days are long gone and we’ve got a big girl on our hands who’s become very aware of her surroundings.
This new awareness of the world and her surroundings has changed the way we do things lately. She is able to still fall asleep when we’re out and about, but it’s getting much harder. She’s also no longer able to breastfeed if overstimulated. We had a pretty good breastfeeing relationship going until....our month started out with some tears as I thought she no longer wanted to breastfeed, which caused my milk supply to go down. After days of watching her eagerly take the bottle immediately after refusing my breast, I watched the empty bottles as nothing would come out when I pumped. I cried many times feeling emotionally and physically rejected. We visited a midwife/lactation expert to make sure Vesna was still gaining weight and she was 17 pounds 8 oz (84th percentile) and once we were able to get her feeding from my breast, we saw that she took in 3.5 oz in 7 minutes, so her weight is still above average for a baby her age and she is still a very efficient eater. The midwife also suggested that introducing solid food so early may have hindered the breastfeeding relationship we had, so for now we are sticking to breast milk only until she is 6 months. I had to add extra pumping sessions to my daily and nightly schedules, which helped increase my milk supply and now, it seems to be back up to what it was before and things seem to be improving (knock on wood). Now I realize, I was definitely nowhere near emotionally ready to stop breastfeeding and I did not think I would care as much as I did if it did end on her terms.
Vesna is also now able to turn fully from her back to her belly and keeps insisting on it. Since we are still co-sleeping we turn her on her side or back, but one more month and this girl is going to her crib. We've been introducing the crib and her room to her slowly, but she still seems to be somewhat skeptical. She is certainly starting to develop her own personality as we watch her blow raspberries all day and eat her piggies and make some interesting screeching noises. She also laughs and gets extremely excited any time she’s around doggy Sammy. She loves being out and about and around people and can even go past her bedtime if she's out socializing. She still terrorizes us during the night with constant wakings and feedings. Even though we spend most of our days as sleepless zombies, we are going with what she needs at the moment. It will definitely make me appreciate that one day when she finally does sleep through the night.
Pictures from the past and last month of 2019!