Vesna: 2 months old!

September 26, 2019. 62 days old.

Our big girl is now 2 months old! Now I understand what parents mean when they say that time flies by way too fast. It really does. I've been trying to enjoy every second of every minute I get with her and not think about the impeding day when I will have to leave her for those first 8 hours. But at the same time feeling extremely grateful that I get this time with my little girl.
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Anyone else start to miss their little babe after they've been napping for too long? As I write this, baby V is still sleeping on the bed next to me and I already miss her so much. 
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Baby V update: The month started out busy for Vesna as she had out of town visitors over the long Labor Day weekend and has been non stop ever since with music classes, doctor appointments and lots of outings since now she seems to only want to day nap if she is out and about. Strangely, city noises and car traffic seem to be music to her ears and for the first time we find ourselves seeking out busy streets to walk down on in order to lull her to sleep. Our little big girl is now 14 pounds 2 ounces and still in the 97th percentile for weight. She wakes up about two times during the night and I can still remember that happy night when she finally slept for four hours straight. We've been told to just wait and see how great it feels when she hits the six hour mark...hopefully soon! 

This month we had our first chaotic experience at a restaurant during the busy dinner time, which resulted in me turning bright red, boob hanging out and quickly running out with a hysterically crying Vesna. Still haven't worked up the courage to go back, but will have to get over it soon as that particular restaurant happens to be the only one within walking distance in our neighborhood, ha! We also started the introduction to the bottle which did not go well in the beginning but now she grabs our pinky and pulls the bottle towards her mouth like a pro with some slight protest here and there if the milk is not up to the temperature of her liking. She is starting to recognize our faces as those of her parents and her little happy yet sometime shy smiles and little coos first thing in the morning just kill me. 

My update: At 9 weeks postpartum, I haven't slept more than four hours at a time and although my days revolve around changing diapers, nursing and trying to figure out this mom thing and a daily routine (which is still all over the place), I am so content in this moment and in this role as a new mom. I had my 6 week postpartum appointment and how surreal it was to be back at that clinic since last time I was there I was in my fourth day of labor, moaning in the waiting room only to be sent to the hospital right after the check up. Everything checked out great and even the midwife was surprised at how cheerful and emotionally okay I seemed, but only to have me call her frantically the next morning at 6am with some shoulder blade, chest and boob pain, which later I found out was nothing more than a muscle related strain from too much bouncy ball. I also got introduced to the breast pump which had me literally feeling like a milk cow. Other than a quick run to the store, my first hour away from Vesna took place on a beautiful Friday at a dentist appointment (which I contemplated canceling a few times) and what an anxiety ridden appointment that was. Jason and Vesna came with me and waited in the lobby. I was due for x-rays and the dental hygienist was being extra slow, retaking them multiple times as I tried to sit patiently in the chair, my anxiety just getting worse and worse by every x-ray she had to retake. Finally I couldn't take it anymore and had to run out into the lobby mid-appointment to check on her only to find her peacefully sleeping in her stroller. Thankfully, the hygienist was also a mom to a newborn and  emphasized with me or at least kindly pretended to. Afterwards, we rewarded my experience with a walk and lunch through downtown and of course a visit to Target.

It's been so emotionally hard to leave her even if for a quick hour to grab lunch. I can't imagine having to leave her and go back to work at 6 weeks, which is what many moms have to do in this country. On multiple occasions, as she is nursing or sleeping, I stare at her and just cry, like ugly cry for a few minutes - partially from happiness and partially from knowing that soon that day will come, when I have to be away from her for those dreadful 8 hours, but until then, I've vowed to slow down and just enjoy every minute of every day with her and shower her with love and kisses and just stare at this perfect little human. 

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Some pictures of Vesna's past month...