My dearest V,
They say Vesna, pronounced VEHS-nah, is an ancient Slavic goddess of Spring, born to bring happiness and luck. And in the past year you have brought us an immeasurable amount of joy, luck and happiness in a time when the world is hurting and when we could all use a little hope. You are our light and hope, and my motivation to work hard every single day.
April 26, 2020. 275 days old.
One day, when Vesna is old enough to read these posts, she won’t have any recollection of these past two months or the months to come, and the strange times we are living in as a worldwide pandemic sweeps through the world. Vesna will be lucky to have no memory of it, she will only know or see in pictures that mommy and daddy were with her every day. For me, it brings back past horrid memories of living during the war in Bosnia, but only this time we have running water, food and electricity. In some sense, it’s been nice to have the distraction of raising a happy go lucky 9 month old who is getting more interactive by the day and constantly showering us with huge smiles & giggles, happy hand claps and big drooly kisses. And all I can think is, I hope you stay this happy forever, Vesna.
February 26, 2020. 215 days old.
The month of February flew by compared to the never ending January. And the first month of 2020 was hard to top, if you've read our last post! This month we celebrated my parents' big 40th Anniversary -- we were supposed to continue the celebration in Florida in April as that was our gift to them for taking care of Vesna every day, but with everything going on, we are now going to cancel that trip (at least once I can get a hold of Sun Country). And it was also Vesna's first Valentine's Day - my favorite holiday! It will forever remind me of the first Valentine's Day with Jason when I got the email from the lobby at work that I had something to pick up at the front desk. I think I still have that email saved somewhere. To my surprise, it was the most beautiful bouquet and I didn't even expect anything since we had only been talking over the phone for about a month and that week, Jason had gone completely silent. It was the best surprise!
January 26, 2020. 184 days old.
Six months old….Half. A. Year. Old! Can’t believe it! If I thought last month was big for our Vesnić, this month tops it all, because our girl got to go on her first trip and airplane ride and she booked her first job as a baby model! She’s already done more than I had by the age of 12 (that’s when I went on my first airplane ride when we immigrated to the U.S. and got my first job at 16).
December 26, 2019. 153 days old.
We are officially one month away from being half a year old! Just the other day, I found myself scrolling through some old photos (and when I say old, I mean from September) and wishing I could rewind time, when it was warm and sunny and I was at home with my girl, spending our days on the couch as she napped on me. Or those warm weekend nights, when we’d take a long walk to get ice cream (and feeding breaks) and once we’re back home she would fall asleep on my breast and we’d be able to watch a whole movie, but I would be too distracted and just instead watch her sleep on my lap. Those days are long gone and we’ve got a big girl on our hands who’s become very aware of her surroundings.
November 26, 2019. 123 days old.
Last week, our little Vesnić turned 4 months old! And wow, what happened to that little baby that just a few weeks ago was flailing her limbs aimlessly and is now a full-blown baby grabbing objects, touching her feet, propping herself up during tummy time, constantly ‘chatting’ away in baby gibberish, looking up and around curiously and eyeing our food and opening her mouth like she’s ready to eat big girl food! Even her music teacher commented yesterday on how much she’s grown after not seeing her for two weeks. Given that time is flying by so fast, I decided to book a little photoshoot, regretting not having done so when she was born. She also had her 4-month doctor check up this week, so it’s been a busy one for us with the Holidays and everything else.
October 26, 2019. 92 days old.
When I was pregnant, my favorite part of the week was Saturday morning when after breakfast, we would sit down with coffee and treats and read out loud all about Baby V’s weekly updates. Then Jason and I would fantasize all about our little girl being here with us and now she is here! And today she is 3 months old!
12 weeks. 2 months & 23 days into being a mama.
It feels like it was just yesterday that I was holding her in this week 1 photo, 7 days into her life. I was exhausted, scared, my body in pain, but happier than ever. It was a sunny day and first week of August. Jason and I were both home on parental leave. We had just finished eating a big breakfast of fruit, juice and egg sandwiches as we did every morning for those glorious three weeks and were getting ready to take our girl out and show her downtown Minneapolis. Those were the days! Fast forward, and we are now in week 12 and my last day of maternity leave. How did the time fly by so quickly? The last week of my maternity leave was miserable and I wish I could rewind time and do it all over. I was on edge every day, constantly crying and Vesna, who seemingly could sense the tension was frustrated and refusing to take the bottle from my parents who were going to be taking over as her primary caretakers. I cried, contemplated quitting my job scared that she won't eat or even let my parents hold her.
September 26, 2019. 62 days old.
Our big girl is now 2 months old! Now I understand what parents mean when they say that time flies by way too fast. It really does. I've been trying to enjoy every second of every minute I get with her and not think about the impeding day when I will have to leave her for those first 8 hours. But at the same time feeling extremely grateful that I get this time with my little girl.
Anyone else start to miss their little babe after they've been napping for too long? As I write this, baby V is still sleeping on the bed next to me and I already miss her so much.
June 10, 2019 | 33 weeks pregnant
Thanks for all the kicks, the tiny flutters & the little signs to slow down, to be present because we will never get this time back - just being one together - two heartbeats in one & you in my belly. I will cherish those memories forever, the whole 279 days of when I was madly in love with you, this tiny human that I hadn't even met yet.
So happy we have these beautiful photos shot by Andrea Wagner Photography to look back on & to cherish the most memorable time of our lives - our first pregnancy when it was just us two & before we became a family of three.