October 26, 2019. 92 days old.
When I was pregnant, my favorite part of the week was Saturday morning when after breakfast, we would sit down with coffee and treats and read out loud all about Baby V’s weekly updates. Then Jason and I would fantasize all about our little girl being here with us and now she is here! And today she is 3 months old!
12 weeks. 2 months & 23 days into being a mama.
It feels like it was just yesterday that I was holding her in this week 1 photo, 7 days into her life. I was exhausted, scared, my body in pain, but happier than ever. It was a sunny day and first week of August. Jason and I were both home on parental leave. We had just finished eating a big breakfast of fruit, juice and egg sandwiches as we did every morning for those glorious three weeks and were getting ready to take our girl out and show her downtown Minneapolis. Those were the days! Fast forward, and we are now in week 12 and my last day of maternity leave. How did the time fly by so quickly? The last week of my maternity leave was miserable and I wish I could rewind time and do it all over. I was on edge every day, constantly crying and Vesna, who seemingly could sense the tension was frustrated and refusing to take the bottle from my parents who were going to be taking over as her primary caretakers. I cried, contemplated quitting my job scared that she won't eat or even let my parents hold her.
September 26, 2019. 62 days old.
Our big girl is now 2 months old! Now I understand what parents mean when they say that time flies by way too fast. It really does. I've been trying to enjoy every second of every minute I get with her and not think about the impeding day when I will have to leave her for those first 8 hours. But at the same time feeling extremely grateful that I get this time with my little girl.
Anyone else start to miss their little babe after they've been napping for too long? As I write this, baby V is still sleeping on the bed next to me and I already miss her so much.
June 10, 2019 | 33 weeks pregnant
Thanks for all the kicks, the tiny flutters & the little signs to slow down, to be present because we will never get this time back - just being one together - two heartbeats in one & you in my belly. I will cherish those memories forever, the whole 279 days of when I was madly in love with you, this tiny human that I hadn't even met yet.
So happy we have these beautiful photos shot by Andrea Wagner Photography to look back on & to cherish the most memorable time of our lives - our first pregnancy when it was just us two & before we became a family of three.
August 26, 2019. 31 days old.
It seems like it was just yesterday that we were getting ready to leave the hospital and head home for the first time as a family of THREE. We didn’t have to say it, but it was evident that both Jason and I were nervous wrecks and terrified of leaving behind round the clock care and comfort of knowledgeable nurses and doctors. As we were driving home, I sat in the back with Vesna as she put on her big girl face, looking out the window curiously and gripping my finger as to say “mama, don’t worry, everything is going to be a okay”.
Vesna, pronounced VEHS-nah, is an ancient Slavic goddess of Spring, born to bring happiness and luck.
In talking to some other moms early on in my pregnancy, I learned that some women either dislike being pregnant or they absolutely love it. There didn’t seem to be much of an in-between. Luckily for me, it was the latter. I absolutely loved almost every second of it until the end.
If there is anything I learned from the past 9 months is that movies have it totally wrong when it comes to portraying pregnancy but especially birth. I gave birth on Friday, July 26th, one day before her due date, but my birth story started earlier that week on Monday, July 22nd. It’s been little over a week now and I wanted to document my journey of that excruciating yet exhilarating week before it completely escaped me.
Since finding out I was pregnant, I was dead-set on having a natural vaginal birth and for the past 274 days, that’s all I’ve been thinking and talking to other fellow moms about – will it hurt, will I be able to push, will I get to pull her out with my own hands and place her on my chest, but never did it occur to me that my birth plan would change at the last minute and that things would be completely out of my hands. In the same way, I thought a lot about THAT moment, when I go into labor – will it be like in the movies where my water breaks at work or in public and I have to rush to the hospital in an Uber or will she come after 10 minutes of me going into labor. These thoughts started to especially consume my mind the last couple of weeks of pregnancy to the point where I could barely sleep through the night.